Why Making Friends as an Adult Can Be Challenging: Insights from Mel Robbins

As we navigate through life, the dynamics of our friendships evolve, and making new connections can become increasingly challenging. Author Mel Robbins, in her podcast episode, shares three primary reasons why forming friendships as an adult can be difficult. These factors, which Robbins refers to as proximity, timing, and energy, significantly impact the quality and longevity of our adult friendships.



1. Proximity: In youth, proximity is often a given due to shared environments like schools or neighborhoods. However, in adulthood, maintaining proximity can be challenging due to job changes, relocations, or different life stages. This can lead to less frequent interactions and potentially weaker bonds. As Mel Robbins mentioned, "To really be someone's friend, seeing them consistently needs to be easy." (Source: Mel Robbins' podcast)
2. Timing: In youth, friends are often at similar life stages, making it easier to connect and maintain friendships. In adulthood, people are at different stages of life, with varying priorities and commitments. This can make it difficult to find common ground and maintain consistent interactions. As Robbins noted, "Everybody's on different timelines." (Source: Mel Robbins' podcast)
3. Energy: As people grow and change, their interests, values, and priorities may diverge, leading to less common ground and potentially weaker friendships. As Robbins pointed out, "You can have fantastic energy with somebody, and then if you decide you're not drinking anymore, the energy is off." (Source: Mel Robbins' podcast)

These factors can influence the quality and longevity of adult friendships by making them more challenging to maintain but also potentially more meaningful and fulfilling. The effort required to sustain adult friendships can lead to stronger bonds, as long as both parties are willing to put in the time and energy.

To mitigate the challenges posed by these factors, consider the following strategies:

1. Prioritize and Schedule Regular Interactions: Make an effort to maintain regular contact with friends, even if it means scheduling catch-ups or check-ins.
2. Embrace Changes and Find New Common Ground: Accept and adapt to the changes in each other's lives, and find new ways to connect and relate as your lives evolve.
3. Leverage Technology for Long-Distance Connections: Utilize technology, such as video calls or messaging apps, to bridge the distance and maintain connections with friends who live far away.
4. Focus on Quality Interactions: Engage in deep, engaging conversations, share personal experiences, and offer genuine support to strengthen the bond between friends.
5. Be Open to New Friendships and Initiate Interactions: Be open to forming new friendships and take the initiative to approach potential friends, even if it feels intimidating at first.

By implementing these strategies, individuals can effectively mitigate the challenges posed by time constraints, physical distance, and evolving interests in maintaining and forming new friendships.