Clarkson's Triumph: Tesla's Troubles and the Warning That Came True

Ladies and gentlemen, buckle up! We're diving into a story that's as dramatic as a high-stakes poker game, where the chips are Tesla shares and the players are Jeremy Clarkson and Elon Musk. This isn't just about a bad review; it's about a feud that's spanned nearly two decades and now, with Tesla's stock plummeting and dealerships under attack, Clarkson is claiming victory. Let's break it down!

The Backstory: A Review Gone Wrong

Back in 2008, Jeremy Clarkson, the motoring maestro, gave the Tesla Roadster a scathing review on Top Gear. He called it "unreliable," "ridiculously expensive," and said it handled like a moon. Musk, not one to take criticism lightly, sued Clarkson and the BBC for defamation. But here's the kicker: Musk lost, and he lost big. The lawsuit and appeal both went against him, and the sting of that defeat has never left him.

The Present: Tesla's Troubles

Fast forward to 2025, and Tesla is in hot water. Sales are plummeting, both in the US and globally. Why? Because Musk's deep ties to the Trump administration have tainted the Tesla brand. People are boycotting Tesla not because of the cars, but because of the man behind the wheel. And the vandalism? It's off the charts. Cybertrucks set ablaze, Molotov cocktails thrown at showrooms—it's like a war zone out there!

The Stock: A Rollercoaster Ride

Let's talk numbers. Tesla's stock has been on a wild ride. It doubled in value after Trump's election but has since shed all those gains. As of March 2025, Tesla's stock has plummeted by over 50% since December 2024. That's a wipeout of over $800 billion in market value. Musk's net worth has tumbled by more than $100 billion. Ouch!



Clarkson's Victory Lap

And who's enjoying this spectacle? None other than Jeremy Clarkson. In a recent column, he gloated, "I said it was unreliable, which it was; that it was ridiculously expensive, which it was; and that because it weighed more than most moons, it didn’t handle very well. Which it didn’t." He even had the audacity to say, "I should really have sued him back, but I feared he’d call me a paedo, so instead I just waited on the river bank for his body to float past. And now it has."

The Warning That Came True

Clarkson warned Tesla owners back in the day, and now he's rubbing it in. "I warned you, didn't I? I told you no good would come of your buying choice. And look at you now, with your cars on fire and your dealerships under siege. I told you so!"

What's Next for Tesla?

So, what's next for Tesla? The company is caught in a political crossfire, and the market is punishing it for it. The vandalism is a symptom of a deeper problem—a brand that's become a political lightning rod. Tesla needs to decouple itself from the Trump administration if it wants to survive. But can it? That's the million-dollar question.

The Bottom Line

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a story of hubris and comeuppance. Elon Musk thought he could sue his way to victory, but he underestimated the power of a scathing review. And now, as Tesla burns, Jeremy Clarkson is laughing all the way to the bank. So, what's the moral of the story? Don't mess with the motoring maestro, and always, always, listen to Jeremy Clarkson. Because when he warns you, he means it. BOO-YAH!