The No. 1 Mistake People Make When Trying to Live a Meaningful Life with Zero Regrets

As a hospice doctor, I've spent countless hours with patients nearing the end of their lives, listening to their stories, and witnessing their regrets. One thing has become crystal clear: the biggest mistake people make when trying to live a meaningful life with zero regrets is not taking action on their dreams and passions. They let fear, doubt, and societal expectations hold them back, only to realize too late that they've missed out on the life they truly wanted.



The truth is, you don't find purpose – you create it. It's not about stumbling upon a fully formed sense of purpose. Instead, it's about identifying the inklings in your life that light you up and building a meaningful life around them. Here are four ways to identify your purpose anchors and begin shaping your life around them:

1. Turn regret into action: Reflect on what you would regret not doing if you only had a week to live. This exercise can help you identify activities or goals that are important to you but have been neglected. For example, I realized that if I were to die tomorrow, I would feel deep sorrow at not having shared my ideas about purpose and meaning. This recognition lit a fire within me, and I quickly got to work on my book, "The Purpose Code: How to Unlock Meaning, Maximize Happiness, and Leave a Lasting Legacy."

2. Rediscover the joys of childhood: Revisit the passions and hobbies you enjoyed as a child to uncover activities that still resonate with you. For instance, I found joy in baseball cards, which still brings me happiness today. By rediscovering these joys, you can identify purpose anchors and incorporate them into your life, even if it's just for a few hours each week.

3. Focus on what lights you up: Even in less-than-ideal situations, there's often a part that brings you genuine enjoyment. By isolating that piece, you can identify what truly brings you satisfaction. For example, I found that I loved the five to ten hours a week I spent as a hospice medical director, which helped me center my professional life around something deeply meaningful.

4. Try the 'paghetti method': If you're struggling to identify purpose anchors, experiment with new activities to see what sticks. Say yes to things you'd usually turn down and try something completely outside your comfort zone. For example, volunteering at a shelter, taking a pottery class, or joining a community sports league can help you discover new passions.


By following these steps and implementing this strategy in your own life, you can create a more fulfilling existence centered around your passions and values. This process requires self-reflection, experimentation, and a willingness to pursue new experiences, but the rewards can be immense.

Don't wait for purpose to find you. It isn't a destination you stumble upon. It's a life you build, one choice and one anchor at a time. So, take action on your dreams and passions today, and create a life filled with purpose, fulfillment, and few regrets.